Would I ever be rich someday and then stop evaluating if each purchase is worth its value? Money is all that I have been thinking of these days now that I have plentiful of time on my side. Maybe he is right to suggest that I quit my boutique job and do better with a full time job. But that would probably leave me with little time to myself. I hate having to drag myself out of the bed early in the morning. <- Now that sounds very bimbotic,ha. I have been thinking too much about money these days that I’ve even played with the idea of setting up an online cosmetic blog selling Japanese cosmetics. I can’t wait for my NUS debit card application to get approved. I want to SHOP!!!

I feel extremely bitter whenever I see kids with Nintendo Ds Lite or PSP. Like WTH, those mere decade old kids are playing with gadgets in a replicated fashion of how those plastic toys have used to amuse me when I was very little! With that kind of new recreation appealing to young kids, I can foresee giant toy chains to close down one by one in near future.

My stupid hyperactive brain cannot stop making plans for me this vacation and that is why I am still up at this wee hour! Argh! There are a lot of activities which I want to carry out with my boyfriend and friends such as restaurant hopping but those activities cost a bomb. I have thought of traveling overseas with my boyfriend, think Japan, Taiwan and Hong Kong, but as of my current financial ability does not allow me to fulfill these dreams. Eh, what is so bad about wanting to have fun? 3 months vacation is neither too short nor too long I must say and I get slight panic for not fully utilizing a day. And so my mind is twirling with wishes of wanting to read good books, shop, earn lots of money and have fun!

You should take a good look at my wish list too. Damn unrealistic.

1. Canon Ixus 80  $429
2. JPMon Spree      $80
3. Thinkpad X61   $3000
4. HP mini            $999
5. New hairstyle   $200
6. Ayu Asia Tour VCDs $30
7. Shopping spree $700

Adds up to a total of $5438. Crazy isn’t it? But it is such a pleasant feeling to imagine having that amount of money and spending them all at a go, especially when you know you wouldn’t be able to do so. It feels great to be rich.

What a BIG relief!!! The five days long of cold war has finally halted! I dislike quarrel and this one is the longest ever recorded in the book! Each time when we quarrel affirms me of something entrenched deep in my heart, and that is I cannot do without him and I need him in my life. It may be cliche to say that love develops like a seed sow in our heart as time goes by, and try uprooting it and you will find yourself dead! How true. How is it possible to tell yourself to stop loving someone one day just because you feel like it? I am that sort of person to believe that unless one party loses the special feeling for another, then it can never be possible to end a relationship.

It is not worth mentioning what we have been fighting over from time to time because conflicts are bounded to occur in relationships. I must say it ain’t easy to love and live harmoniously with somebody and marriage IS a big commitment. Surely, many would avoid getting tied up to this lifetime commitment for fearing of getting hurt when all they need is a little courage to face up to the obstacles lying ahead. My boyfriend is somebody who truly cares about me, a lot, and I have absolute trust in him. I know he will never betray me for another woman and I must say it is a bliss to have met somebody whom I can totally trust without any hesitance.

There is nowhere to run my dear. As long as your heart is with me, I will be able to feel it. With that, I will hunt you down no matter how hard you try to convince me otherwise. YOU, SNG AIK WEI, is STUCKED with me for the rest of my life. Take that

Now I think green-eyed monster lyric is kinda bullshitting.

So be glad
You’re an architect creation
You’re one of a kind
Just stay on track
Because every cross can be a blessing
All the gifts that you’ve been given
Close your eyes and listen
To who you’re meant to be

Why am I born a loser only to realize what I’ve been clutching is nothing but thin air(metaphorical way)? Why am I NOT the one who leads a life in a easy breezy fashion? Should have suffocate me the minute I was born. Asshole creation.

How true it is to mention escapism as part of the reasons why people would spend a great amount
of time surfing the WWW aimlessly. If you have not forgotten, I implied feeling sick of having to mug and my brain is so burned out. Really! Whenever I lift up my head after making successful attempts for pushing myself to read a few more reading’s paragraphs, I almost couldn’t recognize where I was located at. It is not just my brain that suffers with me in this rat race but also my damn skin!!! It looks so hoorrrrriibbbbble these days. Hmpf…

And then I had enough of feeling so blank and decided to surf the Internet. So I virtually hopped from one website to another and totally absorbed into the world of others. I love reading blogs and checking out ayu’s forum especially. Anyway, I just read a news saying that there was a needle found in one of ayu’s costume and as you would have expected, the needle pricked her( I will like to call it stab though) throughout the concert segment and she just have to bit the bullet and continue with the performance. Poor ayu,  what are her staffs doing in the first place? How can such things happen to my queen ??!!!?? I hope she will recover soon!!! Hmm.  I gtg again.To mug :S

Wow, looks like somebody has been putting up a show for quite a long period of time Actually on Tuesday he told me about this online seller who sells brand new DS at a really good price and that he would be purchasing one unit from him this coming Friday. Ha! And guess what he was planning to show me yesterday in his cupboard?

SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM with JOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! It was NINTENDO DS LITE with over 10 games inside, including my COOKING MAMA2. Omg I am acting like a kid already!!!Isn’t it great to be an IT geek’s girlfriend because he knows exactly where to find the BEST GAME and BEST BARGAIN!!! All you need to do is to sit back and watch him do everything? <3 I do feel bad about wiping off his GST offset money and offered to pay half of the price but he insisted it to be a gift from him. How sweet XoXoXo

Anyway, I don’t usually – you know- write such a self-centered and girlish entry but pardon me because I am too happy!!! Must be the ongoing examination that makes me such a sad person who seriously need to be entertained. Yea, what a sad desk-chained conformist BUTTTTTTT that will only continue for another day. After tomorrow from 3 p.m. onwards I will be free to cook whatever I want with cooking mama. ” Even better than cooking mama!!!” Although I brought home the console with me yesterday, I didn’t have the approval from him and ME to start playing for an obvious reason(exam is still going on). But let me tell you a secret, I played it for a short while, probably less than 5 mins, to share the JOY with my mama and bro. Hehe, it is really difficult to curb myself from turning it on and so I placed the instruction book and brought it to school with me coz looking at the instruction book makes me so happy already!!!

Thanks dear for such a wonderful gift. I hope you know how happy it has made me.

How I wish I was there to watch this live!!!

Man, I love this song to death and I don’t get sick listening to this non-stop for a relatively long duration. And the most ironic part is I am not even a Dir En Grey fan to begin with though Kyo’s vocal attracts me a lot! It is such a pity that most of their songs are too loud for my liking but there are some other songs such as Cage and Ain’t afraid to die that I like a lot. Well if I have pick a song to represent my life, this will be it! To me, this song is exceptionally emotional be it in the melody or lyric. A song that draws out the conflicting feeling of wanting to love somebody wholeheartedly yet fearing of losing them eventually.

The Final English translation

The intention is clear, I stare… with this left hand,
unable to be worded
Every time I bleed, there lies the reason to live…
And I discover words being so vivid and bright
Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand,
it will only be known as flowers of vanity
The final

One by one it multiplies… why be a sad bait?
Deep within the hell of my heart… I can’t go back
A self-torture loser, not being able to see tomorrow
Suicide is the proof of life

Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand,
the petals will only scatter as flowers of vanity
So I can’t live
What’s lost can’t be born again
A song that’s not even seeking the proof of living
Let’s put an end… The Final
Let’s bloom flowers of attempted suicide.

I will be getting a Nintendo DS Lite on this coming friday and for the very first time, I teared out of joy for getting a A- for my Japanese society essay!!!

Omg!!! Life is looking good now!!!!!

How long more do I have to keep questioning myself over this?

Green-eyed monster by Corrinne May

So you say life is unfair
She’s got everything you wanted
And you’re not even close
To getting where you wish you could be
You want to get the commendation
Love and adulation
But you’re stuck here on your knees

Are you happy
Are you happy, green eyed monster
Are you happy, with your place
What’s the use of being haunted
Your story, for glory
Is right there in your face

So be glad
You’re an architect creation
You’re one of a kind
Just stay on track
Because every cross can be a blessing
All the gifts that you’ve been given
Close your eyes and listen
To who you’re meant to be

Are you happy
Are you happy, green eyed monster
Are you happy, with your place
What’s the use of being haunted
Your story, for glory
Is right there in your face

Dont feed the monster
Wasting time comparing
Lose yourself despairing
I hear it
Don’t ya
Hungry for our fight

Are you happy
Are you happy, green eyed monster
Are you happy, with your place
What’s the use of being haunted
Your story, for glory
Is right there in your face

Right there in your face
Right there in your face…